A Gallery is a special room
that's usually filled with Art.
An Exhibition is a show where Art stars in the leading part.
An Opening is a party where the artists get free food.
Friends and buyers mingle while the Art is being viewed.
A Gallery is a special place and
special rules apply.
If this is Your First Gallery, these hints should get you by.
There's one thing I can't stress too much:
Don't Touch! Don't Touch! Don't Touch! Don't Touch!
Don't touch the drawings. Don't
touch the paint.
Don't lean on a statue when you're feeling faint.
Even a fingerprint could be the start
Of biodegradable, throw-away Art.
Some Art is dangerous. Some Art can smudge.
I once saw a sculpture made all out of fudge*
But I didn't eat it, or lick it, or clutch
Because gallery rules say: Please Don't Touch!
Good question to ask: "What is this Art made with?"
Not-so-good question: "Can this Art be played with?"
However . . .
Artists are people who like to break rules
And sometimes their Art breaks rules too.
Some Art is for touching, or eating, or play.
Some Art needs input from you!
The Gallery guard, or the teacher, or guide
Will let you know what you may do.
Remember, the artist might be in
And overhear just what you say
So don't say "That's easy" or "Ugly" or "Lame"
Unless you're prepared for the fray!
What if your own art is part of
Then people expect you to be there, you know.
When someone says "Wow!" or "I like it. It's good."
Say "Thank you" politely like everyone should.
Don't blush, or deny it: "You like that daub?
I worked in the dark on the run from the Mob.
The shading is awful. The picture lacks meaning.
If you think it's good then your glasses need cleaning!"
But bragging and strutting are
("Gauche" is a fancy French way to say "soc-
ially unacceptable, awkward, and rude.")
Be proud of your work, folks, but boasting is crude.
Art is shy. It doesn't like to have its picture taken.
Art's a sleeping dragon that you don't want to awaken.
Okay, I made that up. I lied. The truth is: Camera flash
Makes pictures slowly fade away and then they're worth less cash!
You'll know you've done well when
people say, impressed,
"Is this really Your First Gallery? I never would have guessed!"
* Gnaw, by Janine Antoni, 1992. Technically speaking, it's made of chocolate, not fudge.